Bare Assets

3.5
321.952.4291

4020 West New Haven Avenue

Melbourne, FL 32904

brandonresh

posted on 6 September, 2016
Joined 1 year ago
57 reviews posted
Overall Rating1.0
Quality of the Dancers
0.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
1
Overall Hospitality
1
Guest to Dancer Ratio
1
Variety of Dancers
0.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2
Value for Money, Drinks
0.5
Value for Money, Food
1.5
OVerall Atmosphere
1
Sound System and DJ
1.5

This place charges $7 to get in and when you get in there is only one stage. There was only one girl on stage at a time and there was ZERO ENERGY from the only girl on stage. They charge $8 for a drink that is 95% mixer. Avoid this place.

Mike D.

posted on 4 September, 2016
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
3.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
3.5
Overall Hospitality
3.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
2.5
Variety of Dancers
2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
1.5
Value for Money, Drinks
3.5
Value for Money, Food
3
OVerall Atmosphere
3.5
Sound System and DJ
3.5

Have you ever wondered what instant regret feels like? Then this is the place for you! How sad do you have to be to walk into this place solo? They say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. Well, iv only been great at making sour punch.Bar service was fast, the drinks were strong. But isn't that the gag? Get you drunk fast and cheap so you waste all your cash, then run to the ATM and drop so much cash that when you wake up. You find yourself in a panic becuase your rent is due in 3 days.Now everyone wants to know about the girls. Well most of them can climb a pole like an acrobat. For real, I think I saw the same moves on the poster for Cirque du Soleil. Lighting in here needs some work. They have bright white lights that keep shining in your face. Maybe it was becuase I was sitting in the corner. Not 100%

ryan123

posted on 12 March, 2016
Joined 8 years ago
219 reviews posted
Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
2
Private Dances, Value for Money
4
Overall Hospitality
4
Guest to Dancer Ratio
2.5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
3
Value for Money, Drinks
1.5
Value for Money, Food
2.5
OVerall Atmosphere
4
Sound System and DJ
2.5

Going to give 3 stars because of the manager & door girl who were accommodating & polite. There was one girl who was an amazing dancer, although she looked very sad because there was no $$ to be made. Music was good, mix of rock, the waitresses as well as dancers avoided our(me n my girl) table, afraid to approach. In general though, staff as a whole was hospitable, & the bartender was cute too. The club offers a very sullen setting, maybe it was an off night? But being part of the industry myself, Saturday cannot be one of your off nights. I may try a daytime visit for comparison.

Weedman420

posted on 6 March, 2016
Joined 3 years ago
109 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
4.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
2
Overall Hospitality
2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
4
Value for Money, Drinks
4
Value for Money, Food
4
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

I had a great time here. The later it got the better it got. Our waitress Miranda was awesome and all the girls were awesome!!!

XhXeXy

posted on 4 February, 2016
Joined 7 years ago
201 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
2.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
4
Overall Hospitality
4
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
3.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
3.5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
4
Sound System and DJ
4

This is a decent place. We went here because it was close to our hotel. Drinks are pricey but they do offer drink/dance specials every hour. My husband and I went on a Sunday and 90% of the girls were pretty, in shape, and good dancers/pole tricks. A couple girls were way too skinny, looked high, and had no rhythm at all. They aren't pushy about dances, and servers are very attentive for drinks. My husband bought a lap dance for me, then we got 2 more as a couple from the same girl. She was hot and a great dancer, especially for couples. You get 2 songs for a private dance and a free drink for the hourly drink/dance special.Definitely worth checking out. We will probably visit again when we return to the Melbourne area

R.

posted on 4 May, 2014
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating4.1
Quality of the Dancers
3.8
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
3.8
Value for Money, Cover Charge
3.8
Value for Money, Drinks
3.8
Value for Money, Food
N/A
OVerall Atmosphere
3.8
Sound System and DJ
3.8

Bare Asset's two-dance special (with a free drink pass) made the club easy on my wallet. I spent time with Amber. She caught my eye with her cute hat, smile, and personality. Amber is a stare-worthy lady, smart, and good company. To keep it post-appropriate, I will simply say WOW.. I do not know when I will drive through Melbourne again. I hope Amber is working when I do.

Melbourne Man

posted on 27 August, 2012
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating1.8
Quality of the Dancers
1.2
Private Dances, Value for Money
2.5
Overall Hospitality
2.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3.8
Variety of Dancers
1.2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
1.2
Value for Money, Drinks
2.5
Value for Money, Food
N/A
OVerall Atmosphere
1.2
Sound System and DJ
1.2

No comment for this review

bobinvero

posted on 16 November, 2010
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating2.6
Quality of the Dancers
3.8
Private Dances, Value for Money
3.8
Overall Hospitality
3.8
Guest to Dancer Ratio
2.5
Variety of Dancers
2.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
2.5
Value for Money, Food
2.5
OVerall Atmosphere
2.5
Sound System and DJ
1.2

BA is the only club in Brevard so forget the compares. Overall I give it a FAIR rating. Still, you can have fun here with the right girls, and it is friendly, unlike snotty Rachels that has always been overrated. $15 is too much for a private dance in this economy and I think it hurts the girls. They should be able to set their own prices to some extent, with $5 as a minumum when it is slow as hell. I have been here several times in the past few years and will return.

john

posted on 28 February, 2009
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating1.2
Quality of the Dancers
1.2
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.2
Overall Hospitality
1.2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
1.2
Variety of Dancers
1.2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
N/A
Value for Money, Drinks
1.2
Value for Money, Food
1.2
OVerall Atmosphere
N/A
Sound System and DJ
1.2

this club sucks... girls are gross and strung out.. theres like 2 good looking ones, but still natys..

anyway any one ever herd of Younes, in palm bay?? i didnt see it listen i was j/w how it was or if it too is a whore house..

jesse

posted on 22 February, 2009
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating2.0
Quality of the Dancers
1.2
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.2
Overall Hospitality
1.2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
1.2
Variety of Dancers
1.2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
2.5
Value for Money, Food
2.5
OVerall Atmosphere
2.5
Sound System and DJ
2.5

this sucks... i agree with dave, the girls are all way nasty looking ugly and skanky ... i wonder if places like this could make any money if there was alcohol. Brandys a dirty little slut.. shell take you to the holiday inn and fuck u for like 100 bucks... and its noo good... blah.. brevards best huh? maked me wonder about the rest

dave

posted on 25 January, 2009
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating1.2
Quality of the Dancers
1.2
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.2
Overall Hospitality
1.2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
1.2
Variety of Dancers
1.2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
1.2
Value for Money, Drinks
1.2
Value for Money, Food
N/A
OVerall Atmosphere
1.2
Sound System and DJ
1.2

What a Dump...

Scanky girls who sit around and do nothing..

Most of them are strung out or totally drunk..

Dirty scurvy place.. ..

The waitresses look better then the dancers..

Employees and bouncers are all nasty..

Even women have to pay to get in..

I could get a better lap dance from a dog in heat...

roy

posted on 8 June, 2008
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating1.2
Quality of the Dancers
1.2
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.2
Overall Hospitality
1.2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
1.2
Variety of Dancers
1.2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
1.2
Value for Money, Drinks
1.2
Value for Money, Food
1.2
OVerall Atmosphere
1.2
Sound System and DJ
1.2

No comment for this review

Secret Romances

posted on 27 April, 2008
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating5.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
N/A
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

This is the first strip club I've ever been to in my life. I'm from Long Island, NY and my boyfriend and I were on vaca and came to this place. The girls were fantastic. They truly worked for their money. We got a lap dance from Holly and she was super nice! After we came back to NY we went to 4 different clubs and every time we walked out after a half hour. WTF is wrong with NY? You'd think crazier shit would go down. Up here the girls are too prude, you don't get your money's worth, and girls have to pay to get in! Anyway, Bare Assets is the way to go. I can't wait to go back in January 2009.

Brad

posted on 12 April, 2008
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating2.2
Quality of the Dancers
2.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
2.5
Overall Hospitality
2.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
2.5
Variety of Dancers
2.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
3.8
Value for Money, Food
N/A
OVerall Atmosphere
1.2
Sound System and DJ
1.2

Small and service sucked.

Sunny

posted on 27 February, 2008
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating4.9
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
3.8
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

Hot girls, hot dances, friendly atmosphere, large comfortable club, large parking lot. 6 blocks off of Duval on U.S. 1 or Truman Ave. This place is everyone's favorite and a hotspot for the locals. Couple friendly. Full nudity, they show it all. You can caress your favorite naked lady as long as you don't get too frisky. Everyone has a great time. Very nice, hot, fun, friendly girls. Club is open at 4 in the afternoon till 4 in the morning.

This place has really improved in the past few years. Its better than ever, stop by!

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