Mary's Club Reviews

3.8

129 Southwest Broadway

Portland, Oregon 97205

williamr

posted on 8 November, 2016
Joined 4 years ago
80 reviews posted
Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
2.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
2.5
Overall Hospitality
2.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3.5
Variety of Dancers
2
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
1
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
3.5
Sound System and DJ
2.5

During my trip, I found out one of my old friends from college now lives in Portland. (Thank you social media for making stalking so easy!) I suggested we grab drinks after his shift at the bar, but he suggested we hit up the strip clubs! I vaguely remember someone telling me Portland has the most strip clubs per capita, so I thought why not?! Plus, the roommate never really goes to strip clubs, so I figured it would be fun for him as well. We stopped by Mary's Club per my friend's suggestion on Sunday, October 9th around 11pm.This strip club is small, but you can really get up close and personal sitting at the stage. Just make sure to keep tipping with every song as I think you need to do that in order to sit there. The roommate and I ordered Oban 14s and my friend got a couple shots of Jameson with a few Bud Lights. He mentioned that drinking at strip clubs was cheaper than drinking at bars, which was a plus in coming here. I'm a girl, so I'm more concerned about the drinking. Though I can appreciate good eye candy. I am used to California strip clubs, so it was odd at first to see full on nude. I'd never been to a bottomless club before. Some girls were really flexible, some with great tattoos, etc. There was a set of twins who did a few dances together. It was fun trying to figure out which was which as they came up to you.The only odd thing I found about this club was they needed the patrons to buy songs on the jukebox in order to dance. At one point, the queue had run out of songs, so the dancers were asking for jukebox donations. I thought that kind of ruined the mood, but they quickly got a few donations and were in business once again!Fun strip club to ease into the Portland scene.

GarryWas

posted on 13 August, 2016
Joined 3 years ago
73 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.5
Overall Hospitality
1.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
4.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
4.5
Value for Money, Food
3
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
4

After sipping on a few tasty local crafts beers, some of the locals were mentioning visiting a strip club. "Man, you have to check out the oldest strip club in town!". I was intrigued and was curious if it was only a mere coincidence that Mary's Club is a place that my buddy Mary frequents.I immediately went to the only payphone in town. Dropped my coins and paged Mary. Within a nanosecond, she called me and said, "Meet me at the club; it's going down." She hung up before I even had a chance to say I'm in town until the next day.Once I pulled in, the place reeked of ass. But I didn't mind one bit. It was a pleasant smell, but not like a sweaty gym. I paid my $3 entrance fee to the doorman with my crusty $100 bill. I demanded $5's and $1's. Not at problem at all with that request. I left a tip too, which the clerk was happy and said to enjoy the show.I walked over the the jukebox, which I selected many songs from the Top Gun and The Graduate soundtrack. The locals there applaud but they didn't mind the change of pace with the so-called "rap crap" that was currently playing.I sat down, close to the stage and quietly rolled my socks down my Birkenstocks. Security went up to me very quickly, which they taught I was inappropriately touching myself. I was only massaging my calves, but I understand.Once "Danger Zone" was blurring loudly, this cute blond came out. I swear she was looking at me, but I noticed her lazy right eye was only had an eye for me. I didn't pay attention to the other eye, because I was using her right nipple as a medium point (just in case she said something to me).She jumped on the pole, which was wicked fun. I stood up and started to help feed the rain with dollars bills. Gloria finally dropped her see-through bikini top, only to reveal a tattoo that said "Rocco wuz here". I was already buzzed by then, but I know my eyes weren't messing with me. The tattoo was faded, but I could it was covered up with a broken heart with a cross arrow bleeding through her baby daddy's name. (Why do I assume baby daddy? Beats me.)Gloria eventually showed me her goods, which I was very interested her waxed fruit. She had a few hairs that were left out. But not all landing strips are created equal. Bumpy ride, for sure.After she left the stage, it was already 2pm. I looked at my phone, couldn't understand the message but when I read it upside down it read: i am next.The lights went out. The music was on pause. I didn't know what to expect, but my buddy Mary was on stage with a HELLO My Name is sticker on her left bosom. I dared not to share her stage name, but it was pure Destiny she was here.Mary dropped off her crochet bikini top. It was hand made, I could tell. It was a sight to see because the fabric hit the floor and then fog machine kicked in. She had seashell pasties on, which were amazing. She turned around and bent over, only to wave to me.She continued to steal the afternoon with continuing with the songs that I had selected. When she jumped on the dance pole, I couldn't help myself and continued with my $5 bills (only 3 of them) and spoiled her with my $1's (stopped at 10). The velvet rope is not to mentioned.I'm a fan of this place. It's an awesome club. The women here are beyond average. No bullet holes and minimal tattoos. I am an advocate for botanical gardens and spring flowers. Not so much into the waxing scene. But armpit hair is awesome too.The Fat: $3 cover charge is a bargain.The Skinny: 25 pretty ladies in rotation.

Joey S.

posted on 17 June, 2016
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
3
Private Dances, Value for Money
1.5
Overall Hospitality
1.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
4
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
3.5
Value for Money, Food
4
OVerall Atmosphere
1
Sound System and DJ
2

Great club. Reasonable prices. Girls of all range and body types. Only two girls had surgical scars showing. One from a gallbladder removal and the other from a C-section. All girls were well groomed below the waist. 3 thumbs up.

Jesus S.

posted on 19 February, 2016
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating5.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

Josie and velvet were such great dancers. Really sexy and VERY friendly. Beth was just so awesome with bringing drinks as soon as you needed them. I had a great experience and I'm from Vegas. -Clark

nickstrip

posted on 16 February, 2016
Joined 4 years ago
132 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
4.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
3.5
Overall Hospitality
3.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
2.5
Variety of Dancers
4
Value for Money, Cover Charge
3.5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
3
Sound System and DJ
4.5

Loved it there. Small, cozy and only 2 dancers on duty but they were great. Bartender Bev was great as well. A perfect place to drop into for an hour or so. No pressure for private dances - they don't even have a bouncer there. Laid back and fun.

rickywho2

posted on 25 January, 2016
Joined 4 years ago
102 reviews posted
Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
2.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
3
Overall Hospitality
3
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
2.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
3.5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
3.5
OVerall Atmosphere
1
Sound System and DJ
3

To be fair, most of my check-ins here have been due to using the bathroom while eating at Santeria. But still legit. Anywho, the stage is tiny and the place does have a sketchy vibe to it. Not like Magic Gardens(RIP), but in that same vein (did I just use the word 'vein' in a review about a strip club?) There is one dancer who wears roller skates and has about 30 feet worth of giant stitches tattoos that seems to be working every time I have been here for a drink.The only real beef I have is that the dancers ask for donations for the jukebox. What? So that says a couple of things. One, the owners are charging the dancers for music (the jukebox is on the stage, so there is clearly only one intended customer, the dancers.) Two, the patrons probably aren't the best tippers (is tipper the correct term? Rain makers? I should really do some strip club etiquette investigation.) Either way, it just seems cheesy to me (did I just use the term 'cheesy' about the jukebox situation?) In retrospect, this is probably not one of my more well thought out reviews.

DexterRexter

posted on 19 December, 2015
Joined 4 years ago
100 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
4.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
4.5
Variety of Dancers
3.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
3.5
Value for Money, Food
4
OVerall Atmosphere
4.5
Sound System and DJ
2

We didnt plan on going to a strip club but we ended up here. Security is pretty lax here. A guy in the front row was sitting there with his "dork" out. Dancer saw it and they tried, not kidding, at least 10 times to get him to leave. He would get up, follow them to the front, and then he was back at his seat.Other than that, the girls were cool. Drinks are pretty good. Other than the guy whipping out his stiff one eye, I had a good time. I would go back.

Shannon G.

posted on 4 September, 2015
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating2.0
Quality of the Dancers
2
Private Dances, Value for Money
2.5
Overall Hospitality
2.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
2.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
2
Value for Money, Food
2
OVerall Atmosphere
1
Sound System and DJ
2

Maybe it was just a weird time of day (Monday early evening) or just not what we expected after going to Devil's Point the night before but the vibe here was not exactly our scene. Divey is right but not cutesy divey-to-be-hip, it's a legit old ass club, with a tiny stage, and ancient barmaid, and a mildly sketchy vibe. Depending on your level of comfort with strip club, this might be a little more adventurous for the average tourist despite it's common inclusion in lists of Portland institutions. I felt like I HAD to go since it's the oldest strip club in Portland and I just have a general interest in the history of sex work yada yada and boobs, I don't mind seeing those either. But I also went through kind of a roller coaster of emotions. We walked in and it just felt kind of cramped between my husband trying to use the ATM and me trying to get us drinks all right there by the door. The poor lady running the bar couldn't hear a thing so getting a drink was a small process but once we were all squared away we took a seat. There were just two girls doing 3 songs each and then rotating, both of whom were cute and occasionally busted some cool moves (pole moves and tricks are what I enjoy most) but I don't think this crowd was really there for that. The weirdest thing is the fact that they have to feed a jukebox on stage to play their songs. So not only do they have to ask for donations (in addition to tips) to pay the jukebox (which we gladly contributed to) but they also have to stand up there with a binder of songs to select them from the jukebox. A unique set up for sure. But one of the ladies did a dance to Roses by Outkast which was awesome ("roses really smell like poo poo poo.") We finished our drinks and got out of there; there was an odd guy there getting chewed out by the barmaid and saying weird stuff to the dancers and we just didn't want to be there when and if the situation escalated. SO it's a neat piece of history, with a cool sign, and I hear the Mexican food next door is good but it wasn't really our scene.

tonycluber

posted on 4 August, 2015
Joined 6 years ago
214 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
2
Overall Hospitality
2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
2.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
3
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
3
Sound System and DJ
4.5

I've never had a good cocktail here but the service is usually fast and friendly. The place is small and wonderful. All focus on the stage, which I adore. Most of the girls are beyond talented and fun. Raised stage with a stationary pole. The Mexican food will most likely take forever to get to you and will be 90% tomatoes, not worth the price imo. The dancers are 100% the draw here! Don't let the sketchy area turn you away.

Candace L.

posted on 20 May, 2015
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
4
Overall Hospitality
4
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2.5
Value for Money, Drinks
3.5
Value for Money, Food
3.5
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
4

Dorothy, we aren't in Kansas anymore! Alcohol and full nude, won't find that in LA!We popped into Mary's Saturday evening. We, my boyfriend and I! Shocker I know, because good god don't even look at him a second too long or trust me, you'll see my crazy side but a club in Portland is a must right? and Mary's is the oldest one here. No they aren't serving Vegan food or Steaks (like the other two I'd considered) but I decided this would be worth a visit. You know... for the historic aspect ;)I also hadn't yet had a chance to have any local beer yet so I opted for a Hefeweizen on tap and we snagged two seats at the stage. We didn't stay long (a few dances from one and a couple from another), and were next to a large group of fairly well behaved guys from Seattle.The music was ok, selected by the dancer and controlled from the jukebox on stage. It's Portland, I was prepared to see tattoos but didn't see as many as I had expected which I appreciated because although I love tattoos I don't love women covered in them.There may have even been video poker machines, who knows I wasn't there for the casino aspect.All in all it was worth a visit, sure there may be starving children in third world countries but what's a bit of hard earned cash tossed on stage for a little T&A (and a little more)! Even learned one very seductive new move in here, that definitely impressed me.

Johnnyboy123

posted on 28 March, 2015
Joined 8 years ago
294 reviews posted
Overall Rating1.0
Quality of the Dancers
0.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
0.5
Overall Hospitality
0.5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
3.5
Variety of Dancers
1
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2
Value for Money, Drinks
N/A
Value for Money, Food
0.5
OVerall Atmosphere
N/A
Sound System and DJ
1.5

Dancers are really nice but the blonde bartender is pissed that there are customers there or something. Jesus it's a free country go do something you want to do for work. Best Mexican restaurant in downtown is attached to this place get the Carne asada it's amazing. They make the dancers ask for money so they can play music on the jukebox to dance to which is weird. Also, think they would update that paid music.

Johnson12

posted on 17 December, 2014
Joined 5 years ago
151 reviews posted
Overall Rating3.0
Quality of the Dancers
4
Private Dances, Value for Money
2
Overall Hospitality
2
Guest to Dancer Ratio
4.5
Variety of Dancers
4.5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
2
Value for Money, Drinks
2
Value for Money, Food
2
OVerall Atmosphere
3
Sound System and DJ
3.5

So coming here with your wife on Thanksgiving night is probably not the best idea. As a tourist in a new city big holidays like this kind of leave you with few options available. Most stores are closed (thank you Powell's for not being one of them!), and the restaurants that are open are typically booked up with holiday reservations. And anyway, we'd had our meal. As Portland is known for having the highest number of strip clubs per capita in the nation, we felt it was the perfect time to get some history, and visit this institution.Mary's was a safe bet for the Mrs. as it's been in business for 45 years and is female owned and managed. Walking in I was surprised to find maybe a dozen or so other patrons and at least 3 other couples. I guess it's a thing. We got our drinks, which included their very own Mary's Blonde, and grabbed a table by the stage. I honestly think this place may have lost a star simply because of the strange patron sitting next to us. While everyone else seemed rather friendly he would often times clinch both his fists while tightening his jaw and routinely stared down myself and my wife. It's unfortunate but the guy was creepy as hell, though the girls performing seemed to know him and treated him well.Speaking of which, the girls were entertaining. While some were more lookers than others, all of them were in great spirits, being approachable, friendly, and talented. One girl did something with her breasts I may never erase from my brain. Being able to choose their own playlist certainly helped, and most of their choices were great. Overall it was a good time, but with only three performing that night, they went through the rotation quickly so there wasn't much incentive to stick around. Still, I appreciate Mary's and hope it makes it another 45.

John N.

posted on 25 September, 2014
This review was posted anonymously

Overall Rating5.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

Stopped in with a friend to grab a quick beer one afternoon, as one does. In Portland anyhow, where strip clubs are more like strip pubs, where you can tip in BitCoins, where female patrons make up almost half the clientele and where even the diviest joints have exotic craft microbrews on tap. Mary's is a Portland institution, said to be the oldest continually operating strip club in a city world-renowned for its strip clubs. It's on the divey end, seedy-looking inside and out, but gets some of the most unique, interesting and intelligent dancers in the city, girls who will use words like "inchoate" as part of their stage patter. During this afternoon visit, the first dancer did not shave her armpits --I very much like that look, and while it is unheard of to see an unshorn dancer in the Chicagoland area, it's not all that uncommon in the liberated, crunchy city of Portland. The second dancer on this visit stopped dancing midsong, laid down in front of us, and talked at length about her publishing company. Notably, the girls here all pick their own music from a well-stocked jukebox that would be the envy of any left-of-the-dial college radio station nerd. Selections on this visit included obscure tracks from Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Fall, bands that were old before any of these girls were even born. Crowd tends to be unpretentious and laid back. No DJ, no cover (some exceptions, I'm told), no hustle, no bullshit. If you're a connoisseur of the art of the strip club, Mary's is a must-do when visiting Portland.

mathewater12

posted on 11 July, 2014
Joined 5 years ago
194 reviews posted
Overall Rating5.0
Quality of the Dancers
5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
5
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
5
OVerall Atmosphere
5
Sound System and DJ
5

My little T&A place.... For a stiff drink and stiff wee wee, head to Mary's. Total dive and I like it....Mary's is the place if your hiding out, I guarantee no one will care who you are because most likely there hiding from someone as well. Now you may catch some sort if STD off the bathroom situation so don't use them. Head over to The Benson and then back to your stool for more boobs & beer.Portland's finest may not be dancing but a few more beers and you can convince yourself she's becomes a perfect 10!Cheers

StripClub431

posted on 8 July, 2014
Joined 5 years ago
190 reviews posted
Overall Rating4.0
Quality of the Dancers
1.5
Private Dances, Value for Money
5
Overall Hospitality
5
Guest to Dancer Ratio
5
Variety of Dancers
5
Value for Money, Cover Charge
4
Value for Money, Drinks
5
Value for Money, Food
4.5
OVerall Atmosphere
3.5
Sound System and DJ
4.5

I hit this club every single time I am in Portland. Is it the flashiest, the newest, the fanciest? NO. It is the oldest and the OG of strip clubs in PDX, right in the Pearl. It is close to my two favorite hotels, The Nines and Hotel Lucia. It is small and fun. I love this place. Come in and experience a great piece of Portland history with some really beautiful girls! PS. DONT BE CHEAP YOU FUCKING CHEAPSKATES!!! Throw a few bucks on the GD stage!!!