Mary’s Club

0 reviews for “Mary’s Club”

1. I’ve never had a good cocktail here but the service is usually fast and friendly. The place is small and wonderful. All focus on the stage, which I adore. Most of the girls are beyond talented and fun. Raised stage with a stationary pole. The Mexican food will most likely take forever to get to you and will be 90% tomatoes, not worth the price imo. The dancers are 100% the draw here! Don’t let the sketchy area turn you away.

2. Comatose audience.So the stripper is on stage and shouts ” COME ON PEOPLE, I’M WORKING HERE.” Clearly upset no one is tipping her, I leave a $5 on the stage and walk as quickly as I can towards the door, praying I don’t have a run in with Portland’s Very Own Loose on the Streets Serial Killer: The door guy. (So, SO creepy and expressionless)And they have cheap drinks.

3. I go to Mary’s Club whenever I am in Portland on business. I alwaays go during the day because the girls are seldom busy and will always sit and chat between dances. The girls aren’t the best dancers and are not the best looking, but you can sit so close to the stage that a stage dance is as good as a private. There is usually one girl with hair, which I appreciate and all can use a pole fauirky well.

4. During my trip, I found out one of my old friends from college now lives in Portland. (Thank you social media for making stalking so easy!) I suggested we grab drinks after his shift at the bar, but he suggested we hit up the strip clubs! I vaguely remember someone telling me Portland has the most strip clubs per capita, so I thought why not?! Plus, the roommate never really goes to strip clubs, so I figured it would be fun for him as well. We stopped by Mary’s Club per my friend’s suggestion on Sunday, October 9th around 11pm.This strip club is small, but you can really get up close and personal sitting at the stage. Just make sure to keep tipping with every song as I think you need to do that in order to sit there. The roommate and I ordered Oban 14s and my friend got a couple shots of Jameson with a few Bud Lights. He mentioned that drinking at strip clubs was cheaper than drinking at bars, which was a plus in coming here. I’m a girl, so I’m more concerned about the drinking. Though I can appreciate good eye candy. I am used to California strip clubs, so it was odd at first to see full on nude. I’d never been to a bottomless club before. Some girls were really flexible, some with great tattoos, etc. There was a set of twins who did a few dances together. It was fun trying to figure out which was which as they came up to you.The only odd thing I found about this club was they needed the patrons to buy songs on the jukebox in order to dance. At one point, the queue had run out of songs, so the dancers were asking for jukebox donations. I thought that kind of ruined the mood, but they quickly got a few donations and were in business once again!Fun strip club to ease into the Portland scene.

5. I’m from CA so drinking beer in front of fully-nude (hot) ladies is quite the treat, especially when they’re getting naked to their own personally-chosen songs from the jukebox. The music was cool , but none of them would placate me with some AC/DC. I sat next to a horny married butchy lesbian and talked shit on the dancers. Out of the three I saw, they were all hot, but one was AMAZING. My issue with oregon stripping is the “table dance” which consists of some hott dancing and virtally zero contact is hardly worth the $20 that a real CA lapdance provides. Drinks (beers, didn’t notice if they had the hard stuff too) were reasonably priced for this type of establishment , and there’s a Mexican place connected to the club (El Grillo). The best part: you can bring food into the club. Not beer, but hey, get crunk at the restaurant then go through the door to the strip club. Perfect way to spend my final evening in Portland.

6. Josie and velvet were such great dancers. Really sexy and VERY friendly. Beth was just so awesome with bringing drinks as soon as you needed them. I had a great experience and I’m from Vegas. -Clark

7. So coming here with your wife on Thanksgiving night is probably not the best idea. As a tourist in a new city big holidays like this kind of leave you with few options available. Most stores are closed (thank you Powell’s for not being one of them!), and the restaurants that are open are typically booked up with holiday reservations. And anyway, we’d had our meal. As Portland is known for having the highest number of strip clubs per capita in the nation, we felt it was the perfect time to get some history, and visit this institution.Mary’s was a safe bet for the Mrs. as it’s been in business for 45 years and is female owned and managed. Walking in I was surprised to find maybe a dozen or so other patrons and at least 3 other couples. I guess it’s a thing. We got our drinks, which included their very own Mary’s Blonde, and grabbed a table by the stage. I honestly think this place may have lost a star simply because of the strange patron sitting next to us. While everyone else seemed rather friendly he would often times clinch both his fists while tightening his jaw and routinely stared down myself and my wife. It’s unfortunate but the guy was creepy as hell, though the girls performing seemed to know him and treated him well.Speaking of which, the girls were entertaining. While some were more lookers than others, all of them were in great spirits, being approachable, friendly, and talented. One girl did something with her breasts I may never erase from my brain. Being able to choose their own playlist certainly helped, and most of their choices were great. Overall it was a good time, but with only three performing that night, they went through the rotation quickly so there wasn’t much incentive to stick around. Still, I appreciate Mary’s and hope it makes it another 45.

8. I have a soft spot for Mary’s. Yeah, probably not the best advertising for this sort of establishment, but what can I say? I’m sentimental. Mary’s was my first, and you never forget your first. I was convinced that by merely walking through the front door I would suddenly become just the tiniest bit more Portland. I think it worked. I visited Mary’s for a few hours with a group of girls one girls’ night between happy hours at other destinations downtown. I remember being completely blown away by one of the dancer’s pole work. She was exquisite with flowing blond hair and tattoos. Another dancer was so graceful. She clearly had ballet training, maybe as a child. After a few beers too many I decided that this made me a little sad. We did end up leaving when a way-too-drunk army of college men flooded the place. It changed the vibe. Up until then, we were having a blast. Their arrival still didn’t dull the thrill of my first experience. Mary’s is A-Ok.

9. I think there was a $5 cover charge for the oldest strip club in Portland. Here’s the thing, it may be the oldest and definitely looks that way on the inside in both decor and clientele. It was actually pretty disappointing inside. Yes, novelty of the dancer putting her own money into the jukebox for music to dance to is impressive, it can’t save the shabbiness of the club. And the one drink minimum! It was a short night at this location and probably won’t be repeated.

10. On the night I was there, their were three strippers, a hot contortionist freaking me out (in a good way) to world music, a tall retro looking hottie with a natural body so hot it made me wanna spank her mamma – or her, or perhaps myself, dancing to garage rock, and a very athletic hottie with an ass the size of an apple – and yes, I did want to take a bite out of it. Thanks for asking. I think apple ass was dancing to the likes of Tom Wait. Each would dance three dances then give up the stage to the next girl. Lots of girls in the audience – and the night I was there, yes, a Hollywood celebrity. Full Nude. Full Bar. Gotta love Oregon. Definitely not a typical strip club feel – I would classify it as more of a titty bar. Totally comfortable to simply sit in the back with friends having a couple of cocktails and watching the girls without the pressure to do more then toss a couple $$ on the stage every once in a while. Also, LOVED that they don’t have an annoying male announcer barking out the order to tip the dancers between ever song. The music was also turned down a notch so you were able to chat if you needed to. $2 cover on weekends, the rest of the week entrance is free.

11. I will admit I’ve been there more than once. Every time I go I’m discussed I’m there. The girls get worse looking every time I go. The one stage is controlled by the juke box it’s so weird and you think these snatches would have already picked the song but no they sit there flipping threw the book. Video poker is inconveniently right where everyone’s sitting. We just ended up there after a bday party at saucebox so we walked across the street, or else we would have gone somewhere else. The last girl dancing was a nasty cracked out looking avatar and when she talked to us her grill was nasty.

12. First “strip club” I’ve ever been to and I had a great time. I’m not sure if the strippers work only on certain days, but I went on a Friday and the girls were so petite and pretty! There was this crazy tattooed half blonde chick that was really cool who did all these push ups and tricks that demonstrate her muscle flexibility and strength. You could tell that no one really took themselves too seriously here, which made my first strip club experience very enjoyable. I went here again on Saturday, and the strippers this time were a little heavier set, and did fewer spins and tricks.. Yeah, that night I didn’t really watch the strippers as much, but I did have some great conversation with my friends. Only $2 cover and minimum order of one drink. Again, this place is just super chill, I would just go there for a place to sit after midnight and chat with my friends.

13. Mary’s Club is practically a landmark in Portland since its inception back in 1954, and its addition of topless dancers in 1965. It was the very first club to ever go topless in Porltand.Dancers still pay the juke for their own songs, and they have a pool table but given the small size of the place, you are lucky to get through half a game without spilling someone’s beer and getting punched in the face. The drinks are cheap, but then again you should arrive with low expectations and you probably wont be disappointed with the experience. Next door has good hot dogs too I hear.Which brings up the question: Does Portland have any successful blogs out there devoted to these unique establishments? I know there must be, but I haven’t seen one (or rather I have not spent time actively looking)… some one please make a liar out of me. Seems like an easy way to make some coin in this town.distilledpublishing.blog…

14. i heart Portland and Mary’s Club.once upon a time Courtney Love danced the stage…precious dive for us die hard stripper fans.

15. Look, it’s great value. Any less than five stars is insane. It’s dimly lit, seedy, and quintessentially Portland. Hey, they show it on the opening clips of “Portlandia”. For that reason alone, a must stop when you are in town. If you are squeamish about naked women and playing pool at the same time, don’t go. Whenever in Portland, a must stop for a beer and a derriere.

16. Couldn’t think of a better place to spend my Honeymoon. Mary’s was great! Rose Cities First Topless!

17. A good place to stop by on a rainy day and soak in the views and a brew. Classic down town place that can get a little crowded.

18. Great club. Reasonable prices. Girls of all range and body types. Only two girls had surgical scars showing. One from a gallbladder removal and the other from a C-section. All girls were well groomed below the waist. 3 thumbs up.

19. I was so excited to finally dive into the depths of Mary’s club, that I failed to pick up on the subtle ques froms my friends that Mary’s club may not be all it’s cracked up to be. Especially on a Sunday night. Without a long to-do, here’s the jist of the club: It’s a dive. A hardcore dive. It’s tiny, it’s awkward (if you’re a fly on the wall kind of strip club patron, don’t come here), it feels dirty, the stippers make eye contact, and the girls are their own DJ’s. During our particular visit, they were on a two girl rotation. The tatooed one was incredible, though. I think that a Friday night would be better. Because it was Sunday we didn’t have to pay a cover, which almost made the $3 Pabst worth it.

20. 5 stars because I dont like strip clubs, but my wife does and this is the only one that I have felt comfortable at. No douchey dj, friendly bar tenders and attractive dancers.I see other reviews complaining about the jukebox, but I think it’s a really cool touch. There are also some really talented dancers, we particularly liked Scarlet. I’d suggest Marys over Sassys or Devils Point any day since those seem to be the go to clubs for some reason.

21. Stopped in with a friend to grab a quick beer one afternoon, as one does. In Portland anyhow, where strip clubs are more like strip pubs, where you can tip in BitCoins, where female patrons make up almost half the clientele and where even the diviest joints have exotic craft microbrews on tap. Mary’s is a Portland institution, said to be the oldest continually operating strip club in a city world-renowned for its strip clubs. It’s on the divey end, seedy-looking inside and out, but gets some of the most unique, interesting and intelligent dancers in the city, girls who will use words like “inchoate” as part of their stage patter. During this afternoon visit, the first dancer did not shave her armpits –I very much like that look, and while it is unheard of to see an unshorn dancer in the Chicagoland area, it’s not all that uncommon in the liberated, crunchy city of Portland. The second dancer on this visit stopped dancing midsong, laid down in front of us, and talked at length about her publishing company. Notably, the girls here all pick their own music from a well-stocked jukebox that would be the envy of any left-of-the-dial college radio station nerd. Selections on this visit included obscure tracks from Siouxsie and the Banshees and The Fall, bands that were old before any of these girls were even born. Crowd tends to be unpretentious and laid back. No DJ, no cover (some exceptions, I’m told), no hustle, no bullshit. If you’re a connoisseur of the art of the strip club, Mary’s is a must-do when visiting Portland.

22. A down & dirty strip club. Basically a dive bar with a pole. An old school joint where the dancers put their own music on the jukebox. Strong drinks. A strip club that actually has a soul.

23. I haven’t been to that many strip clubs at all, but I really love Mary’s. This is the oldest strip joint in Portland, and it does feel that way. It’s a small, dingy, old-timey strip club, which to me feels more comfortable and less ridiculous than the glitzy fantasy palaces with names like “Scandals” or “Vixens” or something. Yeah, some of the girls are definitely enhanced, but the atmosphere at Mary’s makes even the unrealistic double F cup boobs seem less fake. They serve a variety of greasy drunk food, including my favorite–frozen mini pizzas. What lacks in the quality of the food is easily made up by the fact that you’re eating it in the oldest strip joint in the city while drinking cheap Pabst pints watching girls swing on a pole. I really like their T-shirt design, too, which also looks old timey and cool in a garage rock kinda way. I’ve bought a couple of shirts here, and people always stop me to ask where they can get one or to express their approval of Mary’s. One weird lady at the supermarket blocked my path with her cart and tried to buy the shirt off my back. I think it’s safe to say that I would leave the stripping to the girls at Mary’s.

24. We went to Mary’s for it’s history!..it’s said to be the oldest strip club on the west coast.Full bar. Fully nude. Small place.Open everyday.The murals have been there since the beginning. And I was hesitant to go because in my head, I heard the oldest strip club and thought of old women dancing there since it opened. But it’s not.Fun fact: Courtney Love used to dance there.Souvenir T-shirts are available for purchase.

25. Maybe it was just a weird time of day (Monday early evening) or just not what we expected after going to Devil’s Point the night before but the vibe here was not exactly our scene. Divey is right but not cutesy divey-to-be-hip, it’s a legit old ass club, with a tiny stage, and ancient barmaid, and a mildly sketchy vibe. Depending on your level of comfort with strip club, this might be a little more adventurous for the average tourist despite it’s common inclusion in lists of Portland institutions. I felt like I HAD to go since it’s the oldest strip club in Portland and I just have a general interest in the history of sex work yada yada and boobs, I don’t mind seeing those either. But I also went through kind of a roller coaster of emotions. We walked in and it just felt kind of cramped between my husband trying to use the ATM and me trying to get us drinks all right there by the door. The poor lady running the bar couldn’t hear a thing so getting a drink was a small process but once we were all squared away we took a seat. There were just two girls doing 3 songs each and then rotating, both of whom were cute and occasionally busted some cool moves (pole moves and tricks are what I enjoy most) but I don’t think this crowd was really there for that. The weirdest thing is the fact that they have to feed a jukebox on stage to play their songs. So not only do they have to ask for donations (in addition to tips) to pay the jukebox (which we gladly contributed to) but they also have to stand up there with a binder of songs to select them from the jukebox. A unique set up for sure. But one of the ladies did a dance to Roses by Outkast which was awesome (“roses really smell like poo poo poo.”) We finished our drinks and got out of there; there was an odd guy there getting chewed out by the barmaid and saying weird stuff to the dancers and we just didn’t want to be there when and if the situation escalated. SO it’s a neat piece of history, with a cool sign, and I hear the Mexican food next door is good but it wasn’t really our scene.

26. My little T&A place…. For a stiff drink and stiff wee wee, head to Mary’s. Total dive and I like it….Mary’s is the place if your hiding out, I guarantee no one will care who you are because most likely there hiding from someone as well. Now you may catch some sort if STD off the bathroom situation so don’t use them. Head over to The Benson and then back to your stool for more boobs & beer.Portland’s finest may not be dancing but a few more beers and you can convince yourself she’s becomes a perfect 10!Cheers

27. As countless others have mentioned, Mary’s is a legend and a Portland institution. It’s Portland’s oldest strip club, family-owned and woman-managed. It’s insanely divey, dim, cramped, crowded, there are often drunken assholes in the crowd and the girls aren’t your “gentleman’s club” polished blondes with fake boobs. (I mean, Mary’s has its fair share of both blondes and fake boobs, but the dancers tend to be on the tattooed and pierced side.)This is the only strip club I’ve ever been to, so I have little to compare it to, but I’ve always had a good time. There’s a $2 cover on the weekends (even if you sneak through Santeria, they will catch you) and a one-drink minimum, and the drinks are basically mixer with a splash of liquor, so not worth it. What’s worth it is the awesome Mexican food from Santeria next door, which they’ll deliver to your table at Mary’s. Also worth it are the dancers, especially Blazer, a gamine who can do insane things like put her legs over her shoulders and do push-ups. There’s little ass-jiggling and boob-licking going on there, but she’s incredible. A proud Friday night tradition.

28. 2 reasons:because our server flexed HER server muscle and threatened to kick a guy out if he wouldn’t settle down. naturally he didn’t and she pulled the table away from him, pointed toward the door and simply said “YOU’RE DONE” the sweet little old lady in the front told us to have a great evening and be careful on our way out… just like any sweet little old lady would do!!all at the same strip club on the same night folks… gotta love it!! : )

29. I like this club. It’s not the newest, it doesn’t have the best menu, doesn’t have the best dancers (although some are very talented), doesn’t have a DJ and only has one stage, up higher than in most other places.My 5 stars is purely based on the fact this club feels like an old fashioned Paris night club, burlesque to me.It has a great atmosphere and the times I’ve been there, the dancers make it a good show. And they are ordinary women, most of them with awesome bodies if you don’t like the fake, super skinny types.The bar ladies are very nice and friendly, I haven’t paid a cover yet although they say they only have one for the weekend nights and it’s only a couple bucks.If you’re in Portland and want too see a cool club, see this one.

30. Waiter at Santeria: Would you like to grab a beer in Mary’s while you wait for your table?Me: Absolutely!I was looking for a way to steer our night into Mary’s and low and behold the night did it for me! The Mexican restaurant is literally connected. We walked through the back of the restaurant into the back of the strip club. Score! I’ve been to my fair share of strip clubs and this one is a favorite. Why? For starters it’s free. Second, the environment. It’s a bar, where girls happen to get naked and dance. (Pole stills are not their forte.) They also had really cheap beers on tap. So the girl picks a song out of the jukebox and dances. Then she stands there half naked, flips through the song book and selects another song to finish her routine. There were two girls working and they took turns dancing to fantastic music selections!I hear Courtney Love danced at Mary’s, but I have yet to confirm it. If so, another great reason to visit the place. Well that and the fact that it is the oldest club in town and an institution.

31. I hit this club every single time I am in Portland. Is it the flashiest, the newest, the fanciest? NO. It is the oldest and the OG of strip clubs in PDX, right in the Pearl. It is close to my two favorite hotels, The Nines and Hotel Lucia. It is small and fun. I love this place. Come in and experience a great piece of Portland history with some really beautiful girls! PS. DONT BE CHEAP YOU FUCKING CHEAPSKATES!!! Throw a few bucks on the GD stage!!!

32. Came here alone when I was in town on business. Felt like when in Portland I should check out what they’re famous for. I came here on a Saturday night and didn’t feel awkward being alone at all. The girls were all great looking and drinks reasonable. Can’t speak for other nights though

33. Oh you better believe it’s my favorite strip club in Portland. I don’t normally frequent strip clubs, but I was told that Mary’s is a diamond in the rough. I was’nt lied to. America;s oldest stripper and America’s only amputee striper? YES !!! Just disturbing to get a lapdance from an angry amputee, but I could’nt have passed up an opportunity like that. I hold a place in my heart for strange and disturbing humanity, and Mary’s is like some kind of greasy, dirty, wonderfully savage shrine to depravity I had not ever thought of on my own ! What has two thumbs and a black sense of humor? THIS GUY…

34. To be fair, most of my check-ins here have been due to using the bathroom while eating at Santeria. But still legit. Anywho, the stage is tiny and the place does have a sketchy vibe to it. Not like Magic Gardens(RIP), but in that same vein (did I just use the word ‘vein’ in a review about a strip club?) There is one dancer who wears roller skates and has about 30 feet worth of giant stitches tattoos that seems to be working every time I have been here for a drink.The only real beef I have is that the dancers ask for donations for the jukebox. What? So that says a couple of things. One, the owners are charging the dancers for music (the jukebox is on the stage, so there is clearly only one intended customer, the dancers.) Two, the patrons probably aren’t the best tippers (is tipper the correct term? Rain makers? I should really do some strip club etiquette investigation.) Either way, it just seems cheesy to me (did I just use the term ‘cheesy’ about the jukebox situation?) In retrospect, this is probably not one of my more well thought out reviews.

35. Dorothy, we aren’t in Kansas anymore! Alcohol and full nude, won’t find that in LA!We popped into Mary’s Saturday evening. We, my boyfriend and I! Shocker I know, because good god don’t even look at him a second too long or trust me, you’ll see my crazy side but a club in Portland is a must right? and Mary’s is the oldest one here. No they aren’t serving Vegan food or Steaks (like the other two I’d considered) but I decided this would be worth a visit. You know… for the historic aspect ;)I also hadn’t yet had a chance to have any local beer yet so I opted for a Hefeweizen on tap and we snagged two seats at the stage. We didn’t stay long (a few dances from one and a couple from another), and were next to a large group of fairly well behaved guys from Seattle.The music was ok, selected by the dancer and controlled from the jukebox on stage. It’s Portland, I was prepared to see tattoos but didn’t see as many as I had expected which I appreciated because although I love tattoos I don’t love women covered in them.There may have even been video poker machines, who knows I wasn’t there for the casino aspect.All in all it was worth a visit, sure there may be starving children in third world countries but what’s a bit of hard earned cash tossed on stage for a little T&A (and a little more)! Even learned one very seductive new move in here, that definitely impressed me.

36. Perfect! Good dancers with great attitudes. Ordered breakfast next door (Mexican place ’round the corner) and they served us stage side. Legs and Eggs never better.

37. Skill, skill, skill. The girls here have got it. Satori is a legend! All of the staff here were super nice when I’ve visited, which makes a difference.And yes, it’s a grungy hole that can smell of pee. But I’d rather that, combined with chicks who can do amazing shit with their bodies, than a bunch of plasticine fantasies sauntering around. Any day!Come here when you’re downtown and looking for that real Portland vibe in your strip club.

38. Total institution, or so we were told.No cover? No drink limit? all true.Ask for Macy.

39. Five stars for the dance who performed incredible aerial moves on the pole to the tune of “D#ck in a Box”. One star for the lame brained moochers who didn’t tip her. I also don’t dig the fact that the girls have to beg the audience for jukebox money. Awkward and unnecessary.To be fair, I was at Mary’s for amateur hour (1 am on a Friday night, natch), and my previous visits, which occurred on several gin soaked, rainy weekday afternoons, have been much more pleasant. Come to Mary’s on a Tuesday at 2pm and while away the afternoon in this seedy Portland institution. However, avoid weekend nights like the plague.

40. HELLO Mary’s! We came here with our little friend who had just crested into the drinking age. She wanted to see the most famous strip club in Portland and that is what she got. No cover when I went, but that could be because it was Saturday during the middle of the day. Not exactly strip:30. We did have a one drink minimum, fine. It was hotter than the hubs of hell outside and a cold beer was exactly what the doctor ordered. We had fun. There were 4 women and 4 men in our group and we took all of the chairs along the back wall. One of the dancers was great! The other was the opposite of fluid and I wasn’t really into her. The girls have to play their own music on a jukebox, so make sure you tip the ladies more than you normally would. Or, at least, give them a fiver to load that puppy up.

41. Mary’s is the oldest strip club in Portland as most of us know, so, it is almost an obligation that we do our due diligence and check the place out. The dancers still play their own music via coin operated ancient jukebox. That alone is one star for me…gotta get it authentic I suppose. The clientele? Meh and Mer. Douchies and weirdos for the most past. My suggestion…create a bubble and bring it with you. That way you can focus on the dancers. The dancers? Different. Which I appreciate! Any pretty girl with boobs can walk around a pole and catch ones. Here the dancers are unique. Different. Interesting. And no pole, so bring on the talent! A great place to check out, but not frequent.

42. When taking someone out for their 21rst in Portland, my personal friends have all been bestowed a) booze at as many locations as a Max can stop at b) a Voodoo doughnut of their choosing after said boozeC) and last but not least, titties!Mary’s, ya got great tits and a sexy jukebox! And your bourbon and diet was great for a $3.50 well drink.I’m not sure if a food menu existed, though. I was slightly afraid to ask. Strippers are intimidating.

43. Sinners, you are all going to hell. You need to be saved, come to my bible study group at Mary’s Club. God loves stripers.

44. I live in Eugene, about 90 miles south of Portland. I first went to Mary’s back in 1997 and have gone back every chance I get. It has never been a bad experience and plan to go as often as possible. Nice friendly decent looking ladies, cheap drinks, great Mexican food from next door.

45. This place is kind of dumpy, and honestly, the talent level is all over the map. We used to go to this place as a sort of layover between other much more crowded drinking establishments. With the new public fascination with places like this, I guess we’d have to go somewhere else between strip clubs now. True conversation, names changed to protect the guilty:Scene: “Bill” and I are at Mary’s, sitting in the back, drinking 1.50 glasses of Henry’s or Blitz or maybe Rainier. Nah, it wasn’t Rainier. Some of the local talent is up on the stage, and there are maybe 3-4 guys up on the line doing what we are doing, except that they’re looking up at the strippers.”Bill”: (looking a little bit embarrased) Uh..Me: What?”Bill”: Uh, you see that woman who just got up on stage?Me: Yup. The Brunette?”Bill”: Yeah. She used to sit behind me in 11th grade math.Me; SWEET! What’s her NAME?!!”Bill”: SSHHHHH! We gotta get the hell out of here.We left :(++++++++++BTW, Mary’s has the BEST strip club T-shirt that I have ever seen. Let’s just say you won’t wear it home to show Mom. I’m giving it an extra star just for the shirt.

46. I love the nachos here.The last time I was here it was a bit artsy fartsy. There was this woman doing yoga poses? Pretty cool, but if I am at a strip club, I want to party. I would have been fine with it if there were more girls on rotation. I could have appreciated it more. I dig the old ladies that work there and we ended up going 2 nights in a row, so Mary’s is a ‘Go’ in my book.

47. Came in late Sunday, totally worth it to see someone dance to “D*ick in a Box” Like most people though the absence of a DJ makes for the awkward pause while the dancers try to pick a song.

48. Headed to Portland? Then definitely check out Mary’s – a great little strip club on Broadway. The strippers pick out their own songs on a jukebox, and actually have to put in the quarters – which are given to them from members in the audience. This place even serves mexican food….not sure if I would recommend that personally. the only weird thing (which I found was true about most strip clubs in portland) is that there are only about 3 girls that are on rotation. So if you don’t see what you like, there isn’t much variation, nor is there much free time for personal lap dances. But great relaxed atmosphere, and only a $2 cover charge.

49. Mary’s is a Portland icon and a right of passage to becoming an honest-to-goodness P-Towner. If you love dive bars (and I do!) you’ll love Mary’s. That super-hot tattooed chick you met in the library who was checking out books Ken Kesey and Neal Stephenson? She probably dances there. And you were right about her looking so effortlessly agile. She CAN bend that way.

50. After sipping on a few tasty local crafts beers, some of the locals were mentioning visiting a strip club. “Man, you have to check out the oldest strip club in town!”. I was intrigued and was curious if it was only a mere coincidence that Mary’s Club is a place that my buddy Mary frequents.I immediately went to the only payphone in town. Dropped my coins and paged Mary. Within a nanosecond, she called me and said, “Meet me at the club; it’s going down.” She hung up before I even had a chance to say I’m in town until the next day.Once I pulled in, the place reeked of ass. But I didn’t mind one bit. It was a pleasant smell, but not like a sweaty gym. I paid my $3 entrance fee to the doorman with my crusty $100 bill. I demanded $5’s and $1’s. Not at problem at all with that request. I left a tip too, which the clerk was happy and said to enjoy the show.I walked over the the jukebox, which I selected many songs from the Top Gun and The Graduate soundtrack. The locals there applaud but they didn’t mind the change of pace with the so-called “rap crap” that was currently playing.I sat down, close to the stage and quietly rolled my socks down my Birkenstocks. Security went up to me very quickly, which they taught I was inappropriately touching myself. I was only massaging my calves, but I understand.Once “Danger Zone” was blurring loudly, this cute blond came out. I swear she was looking at me, but I noticed her lazy right eye was only had an eye for me. I didn’t pay attention to the other eye, because I was using her right nipple as a medium point (just in case she said something to me).She jumped on the pole, which was wicked fun. I stood up and started to help feed the rain with dollars bills. Gloria finally dropped her see-through bikini top, only to reveal a tattoo that said “Rocco wuz here”. I was already buzzed by then, but I know my eyes weren’t messing with me. The tattoo was faded, but I could it was covered up with a broken heart with a cross arrow bleeding through her baby daddy’s name. (Why do I assume baby daddy? Beats me.)Gloria eventually showed me her goods, which I was very interested her waxed fruit. She had a few hairs that were left out. But not all landing strips are created equal. Bumpy ride, for sure.After she left the stage, it was already 2pm. I looked at my phone, couldn’t understand the message but when I read it upside down it read: i am next.The lights went out. The music was on pause. I didn’t know what to expect, but my buddy Mary was on stage with a HELLO My Name is sticker on her left bosom. I dared not to share her stage name, but it was pure Destiny she was here.Mary dropped off her crochet bikini top. It was hand made, I could tell. It was a sight to see because the fabric hit the floor and then fog machine kicked in. She had seashell pasties on, which were amazing. She turned around and bent over, only to wave to me.She continued to steal the afternoon with continuing with the songs that I had selected. When she jumped on the dance pole, I couldn’t help myself and continued with my $5 bills (only 3 of them) and spoiled her with my $1’s (stopped at 10). The velvet rope is not to mentioned.I’m a fan of this place. It’s an awesome club. The women here are beyond average. No bullet holes and minimal tattoos. I am an advocate for botanical gardens and spring flowers. Not so much into the waxing scene. But armpit hair is awesome too.The Fat: $3 cover charge is a bargain.The Skinny: 25 pretty ladies in rotation.

51. Contortionist Dancer, $6 Jack Daniels, Well Behaved Clientele. I’m in!This place was pretty awesome. Small, dark, talented dancers. Overall a good way to start the night!

52. Mary’s is pretty sweet. The strippers are really nice (I’m sure every person with a dollar says that). But we got into conversation with one of the strippers about the prenatal yoga class she’s teaching in Oakland. Yea. Anyway, good beer selection and reasonably priced. It’s also not sleasy so you don’t feel like you need to shower in listerine when you leave.

53. I gotta chile relleno while I watched strippers dance to hairmetal. Dollar beers at happy hour. The patrons are questionable at times, but it is a strip joint after all.

54. What a great spot! No door charge. No asshole door guy to deal with. Great beer and liquor at normal prices. I wish we had a place like this back home!

55. Dancers are really nice but the blonde bartender is pissed that there are customers there or something. Jesus it’s a free country go do something you want to do for work. Best Mexican restaurant in downtown is attached to this place get the Carne asada it’s amazing. They make the dancers ask for money so they can play music on the jukebox to dance to which is weird. Also, think they would update that paid music.

57. I was in Portland on business and wend to the club on a Monday as it was close to my hotel. Small club with no cover, somewhat dingy inside and only about 8 seats beside the stage. Three girls rotated for the entire evening so the variety was not so great. The girls were all older (mid thirties) but all were excellent dancers and hot. All responded well to tips and interacted well with the drunk group of guys at the side of the stage. Yes I would go back.

58. Mary’s Club is my favorite strip club so far. Its casual, cozy, a dive bar with a small stage in the middle of the room. Drinks are kind of pricey and the pours are light, but I don’t care. I like the strippers look like me, a real woman, not like teenage porno stars. Some of them got big boobies and curvy hips, I like that in a bar. The murals behind you when you are watching the dancing are really neat. Also, NO DANCING and NO PHOTOGRAPHS. The best thing about this place? Through the main door is Santeria, the best Mexican food in Portland. What, what?!!!!

59. portland has lots and lots of strip clubs, but the venerable mary’s is easily my favorite. plus, the mexican food is awesome! it comes from el grillo next door, which just so happens to be one of the best taquerias in the city.

60. Me and a friend stopped by about 4 months ago and we had a blast.. the girls we super sweet and the drinks were great. 5 stars to this place because even though we are girls we felt comfortable here. And when you go to the club people you tip the ladies. They work damn hard.

61. Things I hate about Portland trip clubs: zero touching. No real stage dances. :(Things I love: Everybody is having a good time. No Dicks. Nice bartenders. Every girl I’ve seen is good looking. This place especially. The bartender/owner was easily one of the friendliest strip club people I’ve ever met. I will suggest this place to anybody visiting Portland and looking for naked girls.By the way, how cool is it that the dancers pick their own songs out of an on stage jukebox? Very cool.

62. Ah, Mary’s, I wax nostalgic when I think of this place. One of the first clubs I visited when I moved here 16 plus years ago, it will always have a special place in my heart. After beering up at Baily’s I took the short half block walk down to Mary’s. I pushed thru the swinging door was transported back 16 years. The place hasn’t changed one bit since I first stepped thru the same door all those years ago. Sure, the faces change but the seedy, dark, cramped space stays the same. That’s part of the charm of the place. It’s a dive and doesn’t pretend to be otherwise. Another interesting thing about Mary’s is the clientele. It’s a mixing pot. Homeless and stockbroker are equally welcome. Everyone gets along, all drawn by the promise of cold beer and naked ladies. The crowd was thin for a Friday night but it was still early. I ordered a Kettle and 7 trying to get the smoky taste out of my mouth from the last beer I had a Baily’s. My attention shifted toward the stage. A tattooed skinny redhead was dancing. Red hair and tattoos not really my thing. I shifted back to my drink. It was gone. I ordered another and took a couple of sips. Another girl was coming up the stairs, raven hair and heavy tattoos. It’s going to be a long night.One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that the age of the dancers at Mary’s has shifted toward older women. When I started going all those years ago it seemed most of the dancers were college girls working their way thru school. Now most are in the late 20s or 30s. Some are even 40ish, retirement age for most dancers. Not that Cougars are a bad thing. They’re just not my thing.I guess it makes sense from a business standpoint. With only one stage and two or three dancers on at a time, if one no-shows, it definitely impacts the shift. Older ladies tend to be more responsible and actually show up for work. It would be nice if they could mix it up a bit, though.The bottom line:Service: ****Ambiance: ***Entertainment: ** Three stars.

63. This is a nice place to swing by for a quick show but I dont know about a whole night. With one stage and only a limited number of upfront seats its difficult to tip the girls as much as they deserve. The bar is right at the door which seems inconvenient. Everyone was kind and the vibe was relaxed but I felt like I was looking in on someone else’s experience the whole time.

64. Went here last night for the first time. Actually this was my first strip club ever. I had no idea what to expect. The place was a little small. Smaller than I thought it would be, it was very cool to be somewhere so historic. The more fuller body dancer had the best body. Hands down.The next girl with black hair, I felt bad for her, she did not seem comfortable. The blonde with the back wrap around tattoo had a great body, she was really friendly with everyone but me!I was kinda disappointed. I did tip, and I tipped well, $5-7 a song. But because I was a more butchy looking woman I felt I got nothing. My partner was next to me, who was a transman may have backed the off, but I wish I was treated like a regular patron. I would like breasts in my face if I tip a five dollar bill. Men where getting the for a dollar. *sigh* I am willing to try this place again sometime on a better night. Hope they will be more queer friendly.

65. Yuck!! What a dump! All the rejects from the other bars are there….. Waste of time….

66. this is not a strip club… this is a institution. it’s always my first stop in Portland after leaving the airport. the atmosphere is great, the drinks are cheep and there is no cover. i would come here even if there wasn’t beautiful naked Lady’s around. what other strip club plays tom waits, nick cave and lou reed…. i think I’ve put some of them or their kids through collage over my years on the road. i love this place!!!!!

67. SO much fucking fun! Drinks and admission are cheap… staff and patrons are friendly… the girls are like week-old apples: slightly bruised.

68. We didnt plan on going to a strip club but we ended up here. Security is pretty lax here. A guy in the front row was sitting there with his “dork” out. Dancer saw it and they tried, not kidding, at least 10 times to get him to leave. He would get up, follow them to the front, and then he was back at his seat.Other than that, the girls were cool. Drinks are pretty good. Other than the guy whipping out his stiff one eye, I had a good time. I would go back.

69. THE BAD:

    girls were hot

    girls were flexible

    girls were fully nude

    $2 to get in on Saturday

    great service

    THE BAD:

    only 3 girls (although each dances to 3 songs before rotating)

    drinks aren’t cheap (it’s a strip club)

    some customers are sketchy

70. Loved it there. Small, cozy and only 2 dancers on duty but they were great. Bartender Bev was great as well. A perfect place to drop into for an hour or so. No pressure for private dances – they don’t even have a bouncer there. Laid back and fun.

71. This is pretty much the quintessential Portland strip bar- it’s tiny, neither the dancers or venue are exactly new and shiny, but as a whole the dancers are frequently entertaining and the servers are usually pleasant and efficient. If you can ignore having to step over the drug addicts begging outside the door and don’t expect a glitzy Mob owned ‘Gentlemen’s Club’ experience, this can be great place to enjoy an adult beverage with an occasional glimpse of burlesque entertainment.

72. Uhm, what is not to love?This place, full of bare boobies and nether regions as it is, can’t hide it’s feminist undertones. It was a great time even on a Monday night, which was one of the only days I was able to go out during my stay in Portland. Our adorable preggo waitress gave the place even more character, as did the awesomely weird murals on the walls.The dancers were for the most part talented and engaging, and their song choices were fly.This + the Cock and Balls from VooDoo Doughnuts + the Church of Elvis = a wonderful Portland night